The Revenge of Mr. Tattoo.

From 2005 to 2008 I maintained a blog about my experiences working in the drug test industry. Every Sunday I revive one of those experiences here. The following was originally posted June 26, 2007.


The Revenge of Mr. Tattoo

Mr. Tattoo came back today for round two. He was in from a different car dealership; you’ll recall the first one didn’t hire him because they requested a hair test, and he’s bald. (If you recall no such thing, you may click here to read about my first adventure with Mr. Tattoo.)

I couldn’t see his tattoo today, on account of he was dressed up all nice. Collared shirt (tucked-in, even!), tie, nice slacks, the works. During our first meeting he wore ripped jeans and a wifebeater. My guess was he came in right off his job interview today, probably because he couldn’t wait to yell at me.

And oh boy did he yell. He yelled about how we must have been lying about the hair regulations, since [insert our biggest competitor here] took his chest hair just, like, two or three months ago. He yelled about how it’s demeaning to do a urine test. He yelled about how our company policies were stupid. He yelled about how it’s discriminatory that he can’t work at Car Dealership X because he chooses to cut his hair a certain way.

I tried to explain the difference between “company policy” and “state regulation”. I tried to explain (without sounding like I was badmouthing them, and I admit it didn’t come off very well) that some labs choose to skirt around regulations if they can profit from it. But as you probably know, there’s no reasoning with someone who just wants to piss and moan and just generally be belligerent.

We didn’t touch on the subject that, apparently, Car Company Y is a better place to work than Car Company X anyway. Meeting as many car dealership guys as I do, you get the feel for these things.

This story is actually a couple weeks old. I should check my saved drafts more often, I guess.

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