The internet is pretty fantastic.

The internet is pretty fantastic.

I’m pretty impressed with this whole internet thing. It’s full of bored, lonely people; exactly the kind of people I need to do my bidding. But we’ll get to that later.

My name is Crystalis, and this is my first entry on this Blogger gig. I had to fill out all these weird forms to get this far, which I guess is alright. I mean the Blogger cats obviously don’t want a lot of uncool people trashing up their reputation. The forms are probably like a screening process to ensure only awesome people are allowed in.

A lot of gnomes have really stupid last names like “Tinklebottom” or “Greaseshaft” or whatnot. I only have one name: Crystalis. It’s a gorgeous name that matches my gorgeous eyes. Why have another one? I let people call me Crys, too, because it’s easier to say. Besides, in the time it takes you to say “Crystalis” you could say, like, “Lady Crys” or “Mistress Crys” or even “Emperess Crys”, and that’s cool with me.

As a warlock who is as talented as she is beautiful, I summon demons to do my bidding all the time. I would have to say that forcing dumb creatures into doing my bidding is the greatest joy in my life. I run this guild called “Winter is Coming” and make them do my bidding all the time. Sometimes they think they’re off doing their own thing, but really it’s just a ruse on my part to get them to believe they don’t always have to do what I say. It’s pretty clever, really. In return for the privelage of being able to do my bidding, I grace them with my divine presence on occassion. I know, I’m totally generous.

Anyway, there will be a lot of time to post all kinds of stuff here later. If you’re looking to do someone’s bidding, drop me a line because I have a lot of bidding to be done. I mean, if you’re going to be doing some bidding anyway, it might as well be mine.