Questions I Hate Answering (as an LPer)

I’m not very popular on YouTube, but I’m popular enough that people often leave me comments along the lines of “dude your LPs are great, why aren’t you more popular?” The answer to that question is simple: I don’t pimp myself out. I just kind of throw the videos up there and let them speak for themselves. If I get subscribers, great, but if I don’t, well, at least my mom still loves me.

One thing I’m really bad at, when it comes to my fanbase (such as it is), is answering dumb questions. Because on one hand I want to be helpful and accommodating, and it’s not very nice to be mean to the people you’re trying to entertain… but on the other hand I really don’t want to get bogged down in a dialogue with someone who doesn’t spell “you” properly.

When I get questions like these I just tend to ignore them, because I’m the hip cool YouTube guy and I don’t have time to answer every single comment. Well, no, truth is I still get few enough comments that I have more than enough time to read every single one as it comes in. And then I end up feeling guilty about the ones I don’t answer, even if they’re dumb. These are questions I see frequently in LP video comments, and since they frequently go unaddressed I imagine most LPers approach them from the same angle I do: harmless enough to leave alone, not important enough to devote any attention to.

Where can I get a [game] ROM?
Google. No, seriously, that’s the answer. It is always the answer. Every single ROM I have downloaded in recent memory, for LP purposes or otherwise, I have found by typing the game’s name, the system it’s for, and the word “ROM” into Google. This is true for obscure JP-only Famicom titles like Booby Kids to rare niche titles like Shantae to PlayStation disc images like Mega Man X4. When the question is “how do I find ____ on the internet?” the answer is always, always, 100% of the time, going to be Google. Of course, people hate hearing that answer. What they really want is for you to find a download link for them or, better yet, to just give them the file. So you can’t tell them, “Google,” because that’s not what they want to hear. But you can’t not tell them, “Google,” because that wouldn’t be the right answer. The only way to play this is to pretend you didn’t hear the question.

[game] ROM doesn’t work. What emulator did you use? And how do you make it work?
Argh. Who knows?  Emulation is such an imperfect science that a hundred people will have a hundred different issues with it. About the only thing I know about computers is which end you’re not supposed to put in the bath tub, so tech support questions are way, way beyond my ken. Either I didn’t have the problem you’re having (and therefore have no idea how to solve it) or I had the problem you’re having, only it was eight months ago (and therefore I don’t remember what I did). Horrifyingly enough, the answer to this one is usually Google, too. If I can’t get something to work, I just very literally type “[program] doesn’t work” into Google. Exactly like that. Usually that tells me how to fix it. Otherwise, I ask one of my pals who is smarter than I am re: computers. So, uh, if Google doesn’t help, ask someone smart, I guess.

Hey, you missed the [thing I missed in that video].
I’ll get it/do it/kill it in the next video, or the video after that. LPs do not happen in real time.

Hey, did you know [incredibly well-known secret]?
Next person to tell me Draygon can be killed with the grappling beam gets buried in the Pit of Lava Beetles.

How do you do/get/kill the thing in [game]?
GameFAQs. No, seriously, that’s really the answer… but again, not the one people want to hear.

Hey, did you know [game] has a sequel?
Yes, but there’s no way to go back in time and tell that to me-from-two-years-ago.

[some guy] already LPed this game!
Damn! I don’t want to go to jail!

Will you LP [game that would make for an awful LP]?
No, because that would make for an awful LP. (Biggest offenders: EarthBound, Secret of Mana.)

Will you LP [game that is incredibly similar to something I’ve already LPed]?
Probably not, because that would be incredibly similar to something I’ve already LPed. (Biggest offenders: Mega Man, Mega Man 2, Mega Man 4, Mega Man 5, Mega Man 6, Mega Man 9)

Will you LP [game I’ve never heard of]?
Probably not, because I’ve never heard of that game.

Will you LP [game I don’t like]?
Probably not, because I don’t like that game.

Will you LP [some other game]?
The answer to this question is either yes or no, but the only person who knows the answer is me-in-the-future. See previous response re: time traveling. Okay, that’s probably unfairly dismissive, since some of the games people suggest are actually good ideas, and there’s a lot of value in giving folks what they want. In those cases, though, there’s probably some technical or personal reason I haven’t done the game. For example, I haven’t done Cave Story because it doesn’t play well with Camtasia, and I haven’t done Symphony of the Night because I’m still trying to solve the problem of recording video from my PSP.

Will you LP my custom Shift/Mario/Zelda level?
No, because it’s probably terrible. Actually I think the Shift thing was my fault, because I seem to remember offering to play some custom levels, but then never made good on that offer because I’m a bad person. But ever since uploading the Super RMN Bros. and Legend of Zelda videos, I have been just about crushed with PMs requesting me to play custom Mario and Zelda games. These people fail twice! First because, as mentioned, their level is statistically likely to be terrible. And second, because if they’d actually watched my videos they’d have heard me say in no uncertain terms that I don’t care about playing custom Mario hacks or Zelda Classic quests. I did RMN Bros. for my RPGMaker peoples, and Legend of Zelda because it had cooler graphics than the NES version. Full stop.

SovanJedi is sexy, do more videos with SovanJedi.
Stop commenting on my videos, Sovan.

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10 comments to Questions I Hate Answering (as an LPer)

  • DragonShadow

    Video-LPing an RPG, especially one like Earthbound, sounds like a terrible idea. I can’t say I don’t think Secret of Mana wouldn’t make a good LP, but that’s probably because I have a secret undying love for that game.

    I think what you do is awesome. I’ve watched many of your LPs, and they’re some of the most entertaining stuff I’ve seen on youtube. Which isn’t saying much considering how much I watch stuff on youtube, but still.

  • KIshi

    Why would you need to record from your PSP to do Symphony?

    Secret of Mana is a good enough game that I’m sure I would watch that LP, which is more than I can say for Evermore.

  • Altair

    I think Secret of Mana would be a fun LP if it’s done co-op like you did for Evermore, but that would be extremely long and I can totally see why you’d be like “haha no” about trying again even this “soon.” (There’s also the partial issue of the early-game single player, but that’s only a minor annoyance.)

  • Knight

    Yea, I’d second Secret of Mana if it was done like Secret of Evermore. Sure, I started watching SoE because I didn’t feel like playing it myself and was curious how the rest of the game turned out, but I stayed because it was fun to hear you and Sovan bullshit (even if it was about stuff that was months out of date).

  • There are more Secret of Mana LP’s on youtube than people asking for them. The game’s been done to death. And whether its Brickroad or some other dude, spellchaining enemies and bosses will probably be the same regardless of who does it.

    Now what we DO need is a good Clash at Demonhead LP. Just trowing it out there 😉

  • Since PSP does component (and/or composite?) out, you could use a TV tuner card or an external DVR like system, I would imagine. Something like a Monsoon Vulkano.

    Though, such things are generally pretty expensive. And unless the PSP displays on it’s screen AND the output at once, a tuner card would introduce quite a bit of lag, as I found out while doing Hybrid Heaven. That said, though, such a system would let you expand into console titles you can’t yet emulate (if so desired).

    • Brickroad

      My tuner is pretty good about lag, and I ordered a set of composite cables off Amazon last night after verifying they will, in fact, allow me to play games with my PSP-3000. So that solves Castlevania. As for Cave Story, well, the tuner solves that too, now that it’s on Wii.

  • I’ve not said any of those comments, but I have found my comments to “vanish” from your videos. =p

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