Why Five Bucks is Too Much for Poker Night at the Inventory

Disclaimer: Five bucks is not too much for Poker Night at the Inventory. I will very likely spend five bucks on it, and be heavily amused, and you probably should do the same.

But still. Five bucks for a poker game. I don’t even like poker. The gamer part of me realizes what kind of game this money is buying, and it begins frothing and gnashing his teeth. “You can’t sell poker,” he says. “I can play poker with a $1 deck of cards. I already own a dozen decks of cards! And besides, I don’t even like poker!”

So that’s the dilemma: is it worth buying a shitty game for five bucks if it comes packed with amazing comedy? To answer that, maybe I should point out exactly what makes this poker game special:

Now, not having played Team Fortress 2 I am not qualified to judge the Heavy’s comedic value. But those other three jokers? They should be on money. Funny money.

But argh. I don’t like poker! It’s like, how much actual poker do I have to play to mine the game for my $5 worth of hilariousness? Can I just set the computer to play itself, then kick back and watch? Will hearing Tycho’s voice forever ruin my mental image of the character?

Aren’t I just essentially buying an advertisement for these four characters?

So I don’t know. I’ll spend the $5 probably, and I’ll feel like a tool for doing it. What a silly, devious way to wring my spare change out of me. Nice work, Telltale; you’re evil geniuses and I salute you for it. But I still don’t like poker. You can’t make me like poker.

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9 comments to Why Five Bucks is Too Much for Poker Night at the Inventory

  • RT-55J

    The very existence of this destroys every prior preconception I’ve had about the nature of crossovers.

  • SpoonyBard

    I don’t even know what to make of this game. All I know is that it makes me wish the Homestar site came off hiatus.

    Halloween is coming up! They CAN’T miss a Halloween cartoon, it’s against the law! 🙁

    • Metal Man Master

      I’ve heard they both have kids now, which surely throws a huge wrench into things and all, but I’d be very shocked if the Bros. Chaps didn’t do a Halloween cartoon this year. They did one for April Fool’s Day, with an accompanying new background theme.

      Still, I can understand them wanting to take a break from the cartooning for a while. Must be hard to churn out so many Flash cartoons each year, and they’ve been doing it for about a decade now.

      • SpoonyBard

        Yeah, I heard about the new kid, and I’m fine with them taking time off. They certainly don’t owe me anything.

        Doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to hope they return. As far as I know it’s the longest hiatus they’ve taken. If it wasn’t for the April Fool’s toon and this Poker thing I might think they were gone for good.

  • Grant

    …….did you do this much agonizing when you paid Va-jay-jay to wear that paper hat?

  • Metal Man Master

    Honestly, I don’t even like poker either, but I know I’ll be playing this eventually just for the characters in the game. Poker’s just that thing I occasionally try in Dragon Quest IV’s casinos when I’m having bum luck with the slots and monster fights.