Disclaimer: Five bucks is not too much for Poker Night at the Inventory. I will very likely spend five bucks on it, and be heavily amused, and you probably should do the same.
But still. Five bucks for a poker game. I don’t even like poker. The gamer part of me realizes what kind of game this money is buying, and it begins frothing and gnashing his teeth. “You can’t sell poker,” he says. “I can play poker with a $1 deck of cards. I already own a dozen decks of cards! And besides, I don’t even like poker!”
So that’s the dilemma: is it worth buying a shitty game for five bucks if it comes packed with amazing comedy? To answer that, maybe I should point out exactly what makes this poker game special:
Now, not having played Team Fortress 2 I am not qualified to judge the Heavy’s comedic value. But those other three jokers? They should be on money. Funny money.
But argh. I don’t like poker! It’s like, how much actual poker do I have to play to mine the game for my $5 worth of hilariousness? Can I just set the computer to play itself, then kick back and watch? Will hearing Tycho’s voice forever ruin my mental image of the character?
Aren’t I just essentially buying an advertisement for these four characters?
So I don’t know. I’ll spend the $5 probably, and I’ll feel like a tool for doing it. What a silly, devious way to wring my spare change out of me. Nice work, Telltale; you’re evil geniuses and I salute you for it. But I still don’t like poker. You can’t make me like poker.