I swore last week that last week would be the last week I would chump out on my Gaming Heroines finale, citing NaNoWriMo as my excuse. As it turns out I am a filthy, unwashed liar. I deserve neither compassion nor tolerance. I should be run out of town on a rail, but not before eing flogged, tarred and feathered.
I’m actually writing the thing right now; it’s just becoming increasingly apparent that it won’t be done before midnight tonight. Instead of just dropping a half-assed apology and skittering away, and since my living room is full of unorganized Christmas stuff anyway, I figured I’d share my five favorite tree ornaments. How exciting!
Technically this one is Peanut’s, but it still makes me really happy to know that my tree has a mermaid in it.
#4: Mega Man
This one came courtesy of the venerable Mr. Jeremy Parish, who was my secret Santa a couple years ago. I doubt this trinket was intended as a tree ornament, what with it being a freaky Japanese voodoo doll and all, but it arrived on my doorstep within eyeshot of Christmas and it had a hangy-chain on it, so I just rolled with it.
I have a big dumb brontosaurus on my tree. I bought it myself, with my own money, and hang it every year with a heart filled with a mixture of joy and spite. I acquired it in 2006, back when Peanut and I were first establishing our Christmas decor. She wanted to buy this really ugly plastic pickle to put on the tree, citing some ridiculous holiday tradition I’d never heard of. The following conversation ensued:
Me: We are absolutely not putting that cheap-ass pickle on our tree.
Peanut: We have to have a pickle on the tree! It’s tradition!
Me: Since when?
Peanut: Since always!
Me: You’re full of shit.
Peanut: Well I’m buying it, and you can’t stop me, so there.
Me: Well if you get a stupid ugly pickle, I’m buying this… uh… brontosaurus.
Peanut: What are you, five years old?
Me: *dinosaur noises* Rawr! I’m the Christmas dino! *dinosaur noises*
In retrospect, she probably should have broken up with me right then and there.
#2: Our First Christmas
One of Peanut’s family traditions that I did happily adopt was the one where she gets a personalized ornament every year. Our first Christmas together, we found this very handsome pewter dealie with stockings hanging in front of a fireplace, and had our names laser-etched into it. We were both quite pleased with it!
I don’t remember whether the sentimental fireplace ornament came before or after the whole pickle/brontosaurus debacle.
#1: The Goddamn Batman
Come on, was there any doubt? I mean, it lights up, even!!