Thing the First: Peanut bought me a book full of H. P. Lovecraft stories. They are about monsters and universes and stuff, which is cool, but I have this pretty serious problem: my inclination is to read them in the dark for maximum sacriness effect… but of course without light I won’t be able to actually see the pages. What to do!?
Thing the Second: Did you know that Amish people made pumpkin butter? Because they do! It’s like peanut butter, only with pumpkin instead. It tastes exactly like pumpkin pie which… is kind of a weird thing to spread on toast. But, I dunno, maybe it’ll work with pancakes or something? Or I could blend it into a milkshake? We spent like four dollars on this goddamn jar of pumpkin butter so I am resolved to use every drop of it.
Thing the Third: Just a reminder that there will be no updates on Thursdays or Fridays anymore! So don’t bother coming around tomorrow looking for an update, because there ain’t won’t be none. Well, this update will still be here, and I guess it’s pretty good, so I couldn’t blame you if you wanted to come back and read it again. I’m thinking about doing it myself, in fact.