I bought a new laptop, a nice little low-end Acer Aspire, and was having quite a bit of fun with it until I turned it on. As it happens, my laptop is the most pretentious thing in the world; its default desktop image is just a picture of itself!
Doesn’t that kind of piss you off right there? I mean, it’s even got its back turned to us, as though we’re not cool enough to look at. I bet those swirly blue energy wisps are the laptop equivalent of sunglasses and a popped collar.
I mean, no big deal. I can just replace that with pictures of Mega Man or whatever. This laptop would not get the best of me. Before I started trolling high-res Nintendo art sites, though, I managed to take a closer look at the image.
That… that button. That’s not a tilde. What the crap is that? Can we spin that around and zoom in a bit closer?
Seriously, what is that? This isn’t even a picture of my lappy! This is, like, my lappy’s evil twin! That weird bent-line-playing-pong button is the laptop equivalent of a sharp, black goatee.
I just don’t even know what to say. I’m still mad at my new computer, but now I’m a little afraid of it, too. Who needs a button like that!? How would you even access all of the symbols on it!?
So I threw the laptop out of a window and then set it on fire. The end.