I don’t even remember writing this.

Today’s post was going to be about The Legend of Korra, but then I found this thing amidst some old text files. I have no recollection of writing this, but apparently I did, at some point in July of 2009. I was unemployed at the time so maybe it’s the blacked-out backlash against abject desperation? Who knows.

Anyway it’s kind of funny, so I’ll share it with you. Also just the idea of parodying one of Weird Al’s song is amusing in and of itself, which makes it kind of meta-funny.

I Remember Kefka
a parody of I Remember Larry by Weird Al Yankovic

Say do you remember that guy from the Empire
Who dressed up like he was some kind of clown
The one who mind-controlled me
Then erased all of my memories
And made me set fires all over town

What about when he spiked Doma’s water supply
Killed the wife and the kid of that old samurai
Have you heard his maniacal laugh
What a hideous sound

Son of a submariner
What a crazy guy
I’ll never forget about Kefka
Not til the day I die

Say do you recall when we went down to Thamasa
And Kefka followed us in pursuit
Then he murdered all those Espers
Drained the magic from their corpses
And then killed Gen’ral Leo to boot

The way that he prances is so immature
But we know that he hates hates hates hates us for sure
I admit those tantrums he throws
I think that they’re kind of cute

Son of a submariner
What a crazy guy
I’ll never forget about Kefka
Not til the day I die

You knew that when you heard him laugh
You could kiss your sorry butt good-bye
Remember when he cut the world in half
And knocked our airship out of the sky

Say do you remember dropping into Kef’s tower
With an Off’ring and a sword in each hand
We smashed all of his statues
And defeated all his monsters
In hopes of making our final stand

He declared us to sound just like a self-help book
But one single attack was all that it took
To put Kefka down for good
And bring peace back to the land

Oh, son of a submariner
What a crazy guy
I’ll never forget about Kefka
Not til the day I die

Oh, son of a submariner
What a crazy guy
I’ll never forget about Kefka
Not til the day I die
Not til the day I die

Oh, I remember Kefka
Oh, I remember Kefka

If you’re a horrible unwashed cretin who doesn’t appreciate Weird Al and have therefore never heard the original, educate yourself, fool!

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4 comments to I don’t even remember writing this.

  • I appreciate the use of apostrophes to admit where you have to cheat to match the syllable count. It’s sad how many song parodies just don’t worry themselves with over/undershooting when it’s really the only rule to be followed (besides rhyming).

  • Man, every time I come across a piece of writing from my younger years, I hang my head in shame before deleting it before it can rear its ugly head later and destroy me. It’s cool to have something that makes you chuckle enough to share it.

    On a vaguely related note, have you seen my buddy Pat’s reverse design document for Final Fantasy VI? It seems like the kind of thing you’d like. http://thegamedesignforum.com/features/reverse_design_ff6_1.html

  • ShifterChaos

    So… this is the kind of thing me (being an adequate guitarist and vocalist (but not at the same time, damn my split brain) and my best friend Leviticus (a musical genius with the talent too boot), BOTH of us not only worshiping the greatness of final fantasy 3 (let alone our master Lord Kefka) flip over. Would you like our recording of your song in about 3 weeks?

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