Old Uncle Sideburns.

Old Uncle Sideburns.

As a warlock I have virtually no use for family, extended or otherwise, and I do my level best to avoid such frivolous concerns where I can. However, as a gnome this task can sometimes prove impossible for even someone of my considerable skill. If there’s one thing gnomes are good at (besides riding mechanical chickens and blowing themselves up) it’s keeping track of every insignificant root, branch, leaf and petiolule in their family tree. It’s a sure bet that any given gnome in Stormwind knows exactly how he’s related to any other given gnome in Stormwind.

Thankfully, now that Gnomeregan is basically just a big tub of green goo it’s become a little easier to dodge the endless waves of relatives that used to pester me — mainly because they are most of them turned into green goo themselves. I recently received a letter, however, that may prove to be an interesting development. Observe…

Only time will tell if I will be able to turn my uncle’s newfound wanderlust to my advantage. It’s never been difficult to get Uncle Sideburns to do my bidding (I am his favorite, after all), but now that he can do a little magic he might actually prove useful for a change.

For the record, his shop in Ironforge used to sell novelty items such as ice cubes with fake silithid wings inside, dolls of ogres and orcs that made fart noises when you pulled their strings, and little bobble-headed troggs. Something tells me Azeroth is a richer place now that he’s changed careers.