Don’t forget to /spit.

Back when I played World of Warcraft I used to keep a blog for my adorable gnome warlock. Every Saturday I share another of her adventures here. The following was originally posted January 24, 2007

Crystalis, the lovable warlock

Don’t forget to /spit.

I’m doling out a fair amount of genocide on some terrorfiends the other day (which, by the way, are about as terrifying as your average litter box) when I come across some nobody tauren. He’s mindlessly slaving away, no doubt for some nondescript quest or another, so I do what any self-respecting Alliance member would do: I moo at him, and move on.

A few minutes later I’m riding back and he’s still at it, clubbing a terrorfiend silly and healing himself every so often. I decide that I’m just bored enough to indulge myself in a quick mortal diversion. I decide to make this tauren’s life hell.

Now, any joker can just murder the poor oaf. I possess a bit more flair than that. Rather than just shadow bolt him into oblivion or let Cattnys whip him to a pulp, I banish the terrorfiend he’s fighting. The ugly, hairy tauren looks around confusedly, so I wave at him. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes and picks a fight with another terrorfiend.

I sit down and start making myself some lunch, enjoying the spectacle at hand. No sooner does the tauren get the upper hand in his battle with the second terrorfiend does the first one break out of its banished state, mad as hell. Immediately it jumps right on the tauren’s back and proceeds to pummel him.

(A quick aside: I had always figured that banished demons were sent momentarily to the Outlands. Does that mean when I banish one from the Outlands, it shows up in Azeroth? That’s pretty awesome.)

Of course no mere tauren could hold off the onslaught of two demons, not even pissant demons like terrorfiends, so he is soon a squishy corpse suitable for nothing but to be spat upon.

A while later I have cause to revisit that same area on an unrelated task, and there’s our tauren hero again, mindlessly pecking away at another terrorfiend. Taking a moment to contemplate our world in which, for whatever reason, death is not final, I pull the same stunt again. Banish, confusion, death, /moo, /spit. It’s all rather passé at this point.

In any case, I didn’t see him out there again picking on any terrorfiends.

I don’t really have an excuse for my behaviour other than I was in kind of an immature mood. Anyway, my point is, if you’re going to go out there and just murder some Horde, be creative. Have fun with it.

And never forget to /spit.

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