Worldly Wisdom (courtesy of Dove Promises)

Haven’t watched me no Survivor yet this week, so I’ll do this post today and that post Mon/Tuesday-ish.

I lucked into a delicious bag of Dove Promises recently, which are bite-sized peanut butter-filled chocolates. About half way through the bag I noticed they had bite-sized bits of Oprah-style wisdom printed on the inside of their packaging. I thought about scanning these in to share with you, but I don’t want to get chocolate smears on the scanner, so I’ll just blockquote them.

WARNING: If you don’t leave this post smarter than you entered it, you were obviously Internetting wrong.

There are 86,400 seconds in the day. Have you used one to say “thank you”?

Not yet, Dove Promise Wrapper! Thank you for reminding me!

Seek out small indulgences for yourself.

You mean… like another bite-sized Dove Promise brand candy treat? That’s what I call clever marketing.

Think without limits.

Mind… BLOWN.

Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.

This one is good for those times where you’re stuck in traffic, getting dental work done, or if a supervillain has you trapped in a vat of acid. The only situation it doesn’t work in is if you’re having heart surgery.

Learn something new.

Ugh. Right now? I suppose I can speed this up by going to Wikipedia and typing random things into the box.

Okay, back. Zachary Taylor, 12th president of the United States, was born November 24, 1794. Phew, enough education for one day! More candy now.

It’s okay to live without a “big picture” in mind.

But… but… what happened to “think without limits”? I don’t know what to think anymore! Literally!

Get out there and make your dreams happen.

This one’s easy; my dream is to eat more chocolates. Mission friggin’ accomplished.

Give yourself permission to just be you.

I would, but I’m such a bastard. I’m not letting me be me just out of spite.

Express your gratitude to those you love.

No can do, candy! I already used up today’s thank-you at the beginning of this post, remember?

Anyway I’m pretty sure the whole bag was just those tidbits, over and over. The most amusing part of this whole mess is, when Peanut came home and found a stack of candy wrappers on my desk, she thought they were trash and threw them away. (Well, they were trash, I suppose. But they were useful trash. Trash with a destiny.)

When I asked what happened to them, she went into the garbage closet and dug them out for me. That’s true love there, people.

5 comments to Worldly Wisdom (courtesy of Dove Promises)

  • Merus

    I much prefer Minties wrappers: they have things like rollerbladers with their wheels falling off on the wrappers.

    Also, they contain chewy mints inside, not peanut butter cups. If I want to eat peanut butter I will get a jar of peanut butter and spread it over a block of Cadbury.

  • Johnny

    “Okay, back. Zachary Taylor, 12th president of the United States, was born November 24, 1974. Phew, enough education for one day! More candy now.”

    With logic like this,

    I ACCUSE BRICKROAD of spending too much time in the Mafia / Rogue Program gaming forum. (Fascinating game btw!!!) and not enogh time checking for typos!!!

    Must have been 1794, not 1974 (did not check the wiki myself)

  • Johnny

    Darn No Edits!!!! EnoUgh time…. LOLCATS

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