I missed a very important holiday!

Apparently yesterday was Cthulhu Day and nobody told me. Oh well. Fortunately I didn’t miss Hospital Admitting Clerks Day! This prestigious holiday celebrates hardworking hospital admissions staff all over the country. My hat is off to you, hospital admitting clerks!

My tweed cap as it were, because April 3 is also Tweed Day! What better way to celebrate everyone’s favorite woven, woolen fabric? Ah, memories of my youth of everyone sitting around the tweed tree and eating a big helping of tweed cake, singing tweed carols and drinking a mug of warm, mulled tweed.

We’ll have to keep the festivities short, though, because we have got to get back to Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month. I’m enlisted in the 9th Annual Great American Clench-off. First prize is a lifetime supply of ExLax. Man, can you believe it’s only one month long?

Gotta gear up for tomorrow, too; it’s the first day of Hate Week. I hate Hate Week so much. What a stupid, pointless holiday. Holiweek. Holodeck.