Random dog video.

I graduated to a new tier of YouTube mediocrity yesterday: I uploaded a cute dog video.

Some folks prefer large dogs because they’re easier to play with. I say those people just lack imagination. Here are some games I enjoy playing with my gerbil-sized pooch:

Stomp the Dog. This is a game I used to play with my mom’s shih tzu. The rules are simple: roll the dice, then stomp the dog. Fun for the whole family!

Sock On Ya Head. In this game, you put a sock on your dog’s head and then laugh at him while he hates life. For every second he doesn’t realize he can just yank it off with his paws, you get a point.

Stupid Fetch. This is like the regular version of fetch you’d play with a large dog, except in this version you throw a thing and the dog runs off to investigate, but doesn’t bring it back for you to throw again. Then he wonders why he’s got nothing to chase after.

Hide and Suck. The important aspect of this game is that the dog must decide to play it without any input from his owners. You’ll know you’re playing Hide and Suck when you suddenly realize it’s way too quiet and that you haven’t seen your dog in a couple of hours. Then begins a mad hunt through your dwelling as you frantically try to think: might he have slipped out the front door when you went to get the mail? Did he manage to slip through the bars on the balcony? Did he get carried off by a cockroach? Nope! He’s just curled up under some old coats behind a stack of boxes in a closet that hasn’t been opened since last November. For no reason whatsoever.