107 people who need to die.

Back when I played World of Warcraft I used to keep a blog for my adorable gnome warlock. Every Saturday I share another of her adventures here. The following was originally posted March 12, 2007

Crystalis, the lovable warlock

107 people who need to die.

So they’re doing this new Armory thing, where you can look up anyone in Azeroth and see what spells they know or what clothes they wear. I’m sure this will usher in a bold new age of arrogant mockery and creepy pseudo-voyeurism, but really I have other concerns.

Namely, this.

They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but nuts to that. A whole army of unoriginal boobs has stolen my name and I’m none the happier about it. And no, you folks who tried to game the system by going with “Crystalism” or “Crystalisis” don’t get a free pass. You look just as foolish as the wanna-bes, and maybe even a bit more foolish because you can’t spell right.

The fact that I share my name with over forty elves both saddens and infuriates me, and just for the record, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally different between night elves and blood elves. One is purple and the other is orange. All we need now are pink and green elves and we’re well on our way to a pack of Skittles, and no mistake, nobody wants to taste that rainbow.

Posers, the lot of you. Ought to be ashamed.

On a more positive note, have any of you cats tried this thing where this dwarf guy pays you to take a sack of bombs, hop on a gryphon, and explode the hell out of a bunch orcs? I’m as excited about this as I am apprehensive. Excited because, let’s face it, exploding orcs is pretty much at the top of my list of awesome ways to spend my vacation… but apprehensive because they’re apparently just letting anyone in the Alliance take flight with a bag of explosives. It won’t be long until some halfwit human gets all turned around and dumps his payload right in the heart of Honor Hold.

Oh, and before I forget: you draenei guys are silly looking and everyone makes fun of you behind your backs. Everyone. That includes the night elves.

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