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When I first heard about Fat Princess a few months ago I thought it looked like a totally silly game that was probably more of a joke than anything. Then a few feminist blogs freaked out about it, which amused me. Then I forgot about it for a long time. Then it came out, and [...]

Quite Contrary
a short story about Mary Sue
It was pouring, and Mary Sue had just caused another accident. Her second this year. She had been sitting at a red arrow, focusing her attention on her iPod, when someone behind her honked. Misinterpreting the honk as “the light just turned green, so go” she tried to make [...]

It’s a matter of public record that nobody can beat up Batman. But I wondered… is there anyone Batman can’t beat up? To find out, I went to the internet’s #1 source for up-to-date factual information: Omegle.com. Surely the wisdom of randomly selected nameless strangers could help me get to the bottom of this mystery!
In [...]

Here’s a product review of the Insignia flip cam I bought: it is a fantastic piece of garbage. It keeps randomly corrupting video that I shoot so it crashes my editing software. I realize you get what you pay for, and I can live with the low-end picture and sound quality, but the thing should [...]

Why? Because they abuse the heck out of the rename screens. My own lovely lady is on the third disc of Final Fantasy 9 and, well…
You don’t even want to know what she did to the poor cast of Chrono Trigger. Argh. Argh argh.

From 2005 to 2008 I maintained a blog about my experiences working in the drug test industry. Every Sunday I revive one of those experiences here. The following was originally posted March 3, 2006.

He’s really short.
It occurs to me that someone could read my blog and come away with the impression that I either never [...]

Back when I played World of Warcraft I used to keep a blog for my adorable gnome warlock. Every Saturday I share another of her adventures here. The following was originally posted March 13, 2007

Crystalis’s book club: A steamy romance novel.
Among the contents of my mailbox the other day (you know, various bribes, extortions, body [...]

Sometimes I wake up in the morning with what sounds like a great idea, guaranteed to be entertaining. Today I failed miserably. The idea was: go down the list of all the people I’m following on Twitter, take one word from each post in order, and see if I could make any coherent ideas out [...]

The more this story develops the more I shake my head in despair.
If you’re allergic to tl;dr the gist of it is that someone saw a black guy in a white neighborhood and freaked out.  Turns out the black guy actually lived there, though, and provided identification to that effect… but was arrested anyway for, [...]

Alright, alright. It’s time to come clean. The truth is, I’m addicted to lulz.
Which is to say, I can’t get enough of Encyclopedia Dramatica.
WARNING!! If you’re about to click that link without knowing what’s on the other side, be aware that it’s only a matter of time before you’re assaulted with feces-covered penises. See, ED [...]