14 Lines That Will Never, Ever Be Said In A Serious Context
They say you can find the humor in anything. But can you find the serious in anything? Here are fourteen lines I’m pretty sure are impossible to use in a non-comedic context.
#1: “I’m not sure why the Army requisitioned 25,000 giant rubber band balls.”
#2: “See this? This is my Cannibals Annonymous 24-hour chip.”
#3: “God? God can’t help you. Only Lionel Ritchie can help you now.”
#4: “There’s no such thing as too retro.”
#5: “Did you hear about the guy in the wheelchair who was cited for jayrolling?”
#6: “Welcome, one and all, to the 16th annual Ice Cream Truck Crash-stravaganza!”
#7: “Suspect was seen fleeing the scene with a shopping cart full of peanut butter.”
#8: “Bring the pillowfight up on-screen.”
#9: “You son of a bitch! My father was a court jester!”
#10: “No, we already have too many poodles as it is.”
#11: “These tightie-whities have been passed down from father to son for generations.”
#12: “Man, I don’t remember last night at all. How many midgets did you say I stacked?”
#13: “This is the story of a man who made his fortune after discovering tvtropes.org.”
#14: “All aboard the meat train!”
I would love to see a movie or something that had all of these lines played completely straight. All 14 of these twenty-five lines.
Twenty-five? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir!
I can see #4, #6, #10, and #14 being used in a non-comedic context, but I doubt that would ever happen.
#4: spoken by an executive for some movie publisher or something, demanding a remake of some old classic.
#14: spoken with bitter irony by someone during the Holocaust, on a train to Auschwitz.
Just sayin’.
True Story:
I heard somebody say “Who’s dog crap is this?” today.