EVERYTHING 30% OFF

Okay so I guess President’s Day is as good an excuse as any to hold a MASSIVE SAVINGS BLOWOUT (BLOWOUT BLOWOUT blowout blowout), but come on people. There’s a line you shouldn’t cross:

If you can’t spot it, here’s a hint: these guys aren’t on money to make it easier for you to turn them into cartoon characters for the purpose of shilling Nissans and ringtones. That guy in the middle with the beard? He’s probably the single most important American to ever exist. You may recall he was murdered for doing the most difficult job a US president has ever had to do. That guy next to him with the big nose was the decorated general who carved our independence in one of history’s most successful revolutions. Maybe let’s not dress your assistant managers up and prance them around your furniture warehouse:

This goes further than simply showing respect to the past leaders of our nation. Let’s consider for a moment the possibility of a zombie apocalypse: Andrew Jackson was a stark raving lunatic. If he climbed out of the ground and saw this crap do you honestly think he would let any of us live?

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