Survivor: Tocantins, week 2

First thing’s first: the guy I was calling “Taylor” in the last update? Yeah, his name is actually Tyson. My attention-paying skills are top not– hey, what’s that shiny thing?

Getting some more name corrections out of the way: Rancher X’s name is J.T., and he’s gotten to be the leader over at Japalao. Sassy Black Lady’s name is Taj. (One wonders if her maiden name was… actually, no, that joke is too cheesy even for me. Sorry. Not going there.) The really young kid I mentioned is Spencer.

A few more characters got introduced this episode. First we have Candace, who is kind of a sassy black chick in training. Candace got into it with Coach over whether or not to put the rice and beans together in the same pot. This is a great example of why I root for Coach-style characters so early in the game: Coach was absolutely right. You can’t put rice and beans in the same pot, because the rice will suck up all the water you need to cook the beans. This scene played out exactly like it did in every season since the dawn of creation; Candace wants to cook the rice’n’beans in a stupid way, she asks Coach’s opinion, Coach says “Well, I’m fine with whatever but here’s how I’d do it if I were doing it,” Candace gets all upset about it, a minor hissy-fit ensues, cut to a confessional of Candace saying “I am a grown woman! Nobody tells me what to do!”, Coach and Candace make up in the next scene.

Coach, this is exactly the crap I was talking about last episode. Yes, you were right about how to cook the rice and beans. And yes, Candace did ask your opinion. And yes, it was Candace’s fault that it became a speed-bump in everyone’s peaceful tribal existence. Still, you cannot be locking horns with people about stupid stuff like this! Okay, you can get away with it on Day Six when there are a lot of annoying people around and you’re one of the big dudes they need for challenges. Not so much on Day Sixteen when the merge is looming and lesser players than you are starting to play the social game. The how-to-cook-rice argument is a classic Survivor mistake that has been made… wait, what season is this? Eighteen? Yeah, been made seventeen times.

Stephen is the cool dork. I always root for the cool dork because I’m kind of the cool dork myself. Stephen’s claim to fame this episode was being the only male on Japalao who wasn’t drooling over Taj’s famous(?) NFL husband. In his confessional he mentioned that not knowing who Mr. Taj was made him feel like an idiot. Steve, this is the wrong way to approach this subject. How about: while everyone else is flipping their shit about some football has-been who isn’t even here, you could have kept your eye on the game. Does this new knowledge change the game at all? If so, how can you exploit it?

Right now at least, Stephen doesn’t have to worry about his not-one-of-the-guys fears biting him in the hind end; the second half of the episode focused almost exclusively on his and J.T.’s budding manlationship. Who knows where that’s going to go, but guys, I would not call an afternoon spent fishing “successful” unless you, ya know, actually bring back a fish.

Then we’ve got Brendan. Brendan only stood out because he got sent to Exile Island. He couldn’t figure out the clue that said “tribal homelands” meant the hidden immunity idol was back at camp, which might be a more embarrassing blunder than Sandy not knowing what “ten paces” was. Fortunately he brought Taj over to Exile Island with him, and she set him straight.

Brendan, your first mistake was… well okay, your first mistake was interpreting the clue wrong. Your second mistake was sharing your clue with Taj. When they give each choice of a bottle, one with a clue and one without, and you get the one with the clue, for goodness sake keep it to yourself. Sharing the clue has worked in some cases for some players over the years, but only for the really good players. I’m not convinced Brendan is a really good player.

Brendan did somewhat redeem himself by proving he is capable of lying through his teeth though! He told his tribe Taj had found the clue and he got nothing, which as far as I can tell they bought hook, line and sinker. Coach even made a big production about how much he trusted Brendan at his word. (Coach… dude. The evidence is piling up against you. Might as well just pack your bags now.)

Timbira won the combined immunity/reward challenge: assorted fishing gear.  Their council focused a lot on how Sierra was still feeling put out about the whole voted-off-first thing, Coach and some other girl I don’t remember talked a great deal about how much they trusted everyone… and then Erinn. Hmm. Erinn is one of those players who thinks she’s good. Her observation was sound: you can’t trust anyone in this game; you barely know these people. Her mistake was twofold: first, um, duh. Everyone here already knows that! It’s not new information! Second, you don’t speak up about it this early in the game. The reason everyone is talking about lovey-dovey trust and happy magic rainbows is because there are still fourteen other people playing the game. She shut up pretty quick after that, but I bet we get to see her spectacular ejection in another week or two.

So Sierra did a good deal of pouting… and then Timbira voted Candace off. In a landslide. This is the second time the tribe has overlooked their initial first vote pick to get rid of someone else. Two votes, to blindsides — shaping up to be a good season. Candace’s attitude was pretty lousy, but once again I hate to see such a wonderful pair of breasts get their walking papers. Shame.

Who’s gonna win? Last week my gut instinct was Tyson, and you know, I haven’t seen a lot to make my change my mind. I’m going to stick with it until I have a strong reason not to. I think his tribe overall has weaker personalities on it, but that’ll change when the tribes inevitably switch up in two or three weeks.