Survivor: Tocantins, week twelve

I usually don’t watch the parting words. Nothing against them, really, my DVR just tends to cut them off. This episode, though, I went out of my way to not watch them because, Christ on a cracker, I feel like I’ve heard just about everything Coach could ever possibly have to say. Which isn’t a lot, as it turns out, he just uses so many words.

I want to know who’s idea it was to devote half this season’s screentime to Coach and his unbelievable ego. The episode started out promising enough, with Coach finally admitting that maybe he wasn’t in control of the game after all, but it just went downhill from there. Erinn calling him out on his martyrdom was completely called for, I think. Here you have this grown man who is walking around and running his mouth nonstop, and suddenly he’s got slipped discs and asthma?

Neither Coach’s stay on Exile nor his giant list of excuses for why he couldn’t win immunity impressed me. What did impress me is the way J.T. and Stephen still had him in their back pocket despite having gotten away with lying to his face multiple times. He’s been absolutely clueless to what those two have been up to ever since the tribes merged, and it’s been simply hilarious to watch. These guys have systematically dismantled Coach’s game and the poor bastard never even noticed it was happening.

So here we go into the final four: J.T., Stephen, Erinn and Taj. Three Jalapao underdogs and the original Timbira traitor. I like all four of these players but I don’t feel I can accurately predict what’s going to happen in the finale. (Of course, I never can predict what’s going to happen, but usually I feel like I can.) The editing team was so in love with Coach that I really don’t feel like we saw enough of Erinn throughout the season. Coach was an interesting player and an interesting character but the philosophy of All Coach All The Time really came at the expense of getting to know several of the other players and I feel that made Tocantins a much weaker season overall.

For the first time in a long time J.T. and Stephen voted for different people. I think J.T. honestly believed he was sending Erinn home, and Stephen’s vote will be surprising to him. Barring some kind of angry blowout (which I don’t think will happen), though, I think they’re still a strong alliance and I think they each plan to take the others to the finals.

Who’s gonna win? Official final prediction: Stephen. Erinn will be gone next, and then Stephen’s a lock for final two. Either J.T. will win immunity and bring his ally along, or Taj will and figure Stephen’s an easier opponent in the finals. Either way I think Stephen can swing the jury — J.T. might have Coach’s vote through and through, but Stephen just won the votes of all Coach’s enemies. Should be an interesting finale in any case!