My New YouTube Friend

When I came home from work this morning and slumped in front of the computer to get my YouTubes on, I saw I had a friend invite pending. Usually this is some random kid who likes video games or whatever, or maybe some dude with a band who is just spamming invites to everyone he’s subscribed to. Sometimes it’s one of those scammy “your videos are very informative, click here to get 10,000 more views!” services.

Today’s friend invite was from someone different entirely. It was from this guy:

B... beard.

His YouTube username is “AntiNRA”, but on his YouTube profile he identifies himself as “King Messiah”. As of today he has only one video uploaded, uploaded on September 5, entitled “Letter to the President August 31, 2010“. He signs the description of that video with his real name, Timothy Alan Campbell. Be warned: if you click that link you will be bombarded with crazy.

The video is a brief rant against the NRA, imploring the US government to bomb the city of Royal Oak, Michigan for declaring war against the United States by (I guess?) allowing gun-owners to carry guns at a public Labor Day event. In Mr. Campbell’s opinion, this counts as a declaration of war because gun ownership and the NRA specifically put children’s lives in danger.

Brief research on Wikipedia reveals that Royal Oak has a “low violent crime rate” and nearly 15,000 families. Obviously the best way to secure the safety of children is to blow up about 15,000 of them.

It gets weirder. On his YouTube page Mr. Campbell has a link to his website, The Gospel of Timothy, where he will sell you a brand new book of the Bible for the low, low price of $13. This book describes Mr. Campbell’s meeting with God himself, in mortal flesh, back in 1985. (The subject of what substances Mr. Campbell may have been under the influence of, if any, is not addressed.) How did he know it was God? He was a ghost. Read the book.

I stopped digging into the internet horrorshow that is King Messiah about the time he claimed that automobile company CEOs should have their spines snapped because some girl was in a car accident. On this big wide superhighway of ours, the lines between crazy and funny and depressing are often quite blurry. What interested me most was, how did this guy find me on YouTube? And why did he send me a friend request? To solve this mystery, I looked at his profile page to see who had been accepting the requests:

It's nice to have friends.

If these names seem a bit… alphabetical to you, you should see his channel comments. Right now you can work your way backwards from B-for-Boogie all the way back to A-for-Aerith. That’s right: this backwoods bearded religious leader is friending everyone on YouTube — and he’s made it as far as the BRs.

Well, that’s one way to spread your message, I suppose!

In the end, I decided I didn’t want to be AntiNRA’s friend. It looks like that party is crowded enough.

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