Sprung a leak.

As you can see from the image, I collect Pepsi cans. Every time Pepsi comes out with a new flavor or variant I try to get my hands on a can and/or a 20 oz. bottle for the shelf. I’m not sure what the endpoint of this hobby is; maybe when I’m 60 I’ll dump it all into a pool and swim laps in it.

Once in a while one of the cans will spring a leak. The culprit in this picture is Diet Pepsi Max. It’s a messy chore, but typically it means I set the can aside to drain out entirely then clean the liquid and congealed syrup off the shelf and any affected cans. When the offending can is empty I put it back on the shelf where it can do no further harm. I imagine this process will repeat until every can has had a chance to leak and empty itself.

Sometimes instead of a full-blown leak, like the little puddles on the shelf, cans will release just the thick syrup, which builds up around the base of the cans, as is happening on the middle shelf. This is harder to notice since it’s not so overt, but is a lot sticker and more of a pain to clean up.

Yes, I know there are methods out there to drain the cans without opening them and just having an empty can collection, but I prefer them full and, besides, most of the cans seem to be essentially leak-proof. My very first can, the Holiday Spice in the top-left corner, is from 2004 and seems perfectly stable. In fact, with the exception of Pepsi Lime every single leaky can has been a diet variant of some sort. Does the different sweetener used in diet drinks cause temperature or pressure to affect the cans differently? Does it just not feel fulfilled if it’s not helping someone pretend to lose weight, which causes it to try and escape? None can say.

The crowning achievement of this endevour would be to get a still-full-and-intact can of Crystal Pepsi. Believe it or not I’m not the only Pepsi collector out there; I’m not even one of the more obsessive ones. Someone out there has a can of Crystal Pepsi. Someday I shall have one too. It shall be the sparkling jewel of my collection, and of my heart.