In November my stupid backwards state (and, judging by population statistics, very likely your backwards state too) voted to keep gay marriage illegal. Because as we all know, letting gay people get married will instantly cause every other marriage in the country to evaporate and, besides that, the mere thought of a dong in a butthole makes baby Jesus cry.
Well Maine apparently (and rightly) doesn’t care what baby Jesus cries about, because they went and legalized same-sex marriage today. This, of course, following on the coattails of most of the rest of New England and Iowa of all places, which is weird because I had pictured Iowa as being full of rednecks and corn and not much else.
(If you’re from Iowa and you’re offended, please keep in mind that in 2000 my state couldn’t figure out how to vote and in 2008 we decided baby Jesus is more important than constitutionally-guaranteed rights, so I really have no dog in the “whose state is best” fight.)
The tables are turning. I read a quote directed at some curmudgeounly old men discussing the issue that went like, “You’ve already lost because eventually you’ll die and my generation doesn’t care.”
The way things are going, eventually every state is going to get these laws in order except California and Florida (who will be too stubborn to admit defeat) and Texas, who will secede to form its own little country that nobody really cares about. (If you’re from Texas and that offended you, please refer to the note above. Although as hilariously ignorant as Florida is, nobody is lobbying to form the North American Republic of Shaped-Like-A-Pecker.)
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Now, now. California’s sterling activist judges are going to do what’s right any day now. Yessiree, aaaaany day now…
The only “You’ve already lost because eventually you’ll die and my generation doesn’t care” article I recall recently was one about video game regulation in the UK.