Vlog #010: Texas couple loves shooting people, writes sign about it.

Today’s vlog is about this horrific murder that took place a week ago in Texas: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/hotstories/6416320.html

The sign is a little hard to see in the video (thanks, YouTube compression!), but it reads:

TRESSPASSERS
WILL BE SHOT
SURVIVERS WILL
BE RESHOT!!
SMILE I WILL

The sign is what really brings this story together for me. It’s so chock full of stupidity that you could almost feel sorry for the people who wrote it… you know, if they didn’t murder children. Let’s break it down, shall we?

1. The folks these knuckle-dragging Texas cuntbags were aiming at weren’t on their property, and therefore weren’t tresspassing. So even if “hey, we told ’em not to trespass!” were an adequate defense to cold-blooded murder, it wouldn’t be in this case since the sign doesn’t say that they will also shoot people who aren’t trespassing.
2. The way the word “surviver” is misspelled is absolutely adorable, much in the same way as the backwards R in the Toys ‘R Us logo. If Hateful Threatening Sign-making were an event in the Special Olympics I think this one could win the silver, at least.
3. I’m pretty sure “reshot” isn’t a word. I get the basic idea behind it, though. You know who else made up words? Shakespeare. These people are the Shakespeare of filthy white trash.
4. “Smile I will” is a pretty awesome Yoda impression.
5. Weird sentence structure aside, “smile I will” is pretty much a blatant admission that they actually get off on shooting people. The sign might as well say something like “We can’t wait to murder you! Please give us an excuse!” Of course to be perfectly accurate it would need a little asterisked sidenote that reads: “We reserve the right to not need an excuse. Refraining from trespassing will not guarantee survival.”

I’m going to try and follow this case. The bleeding heart crybaby pussy side of my psyche wants so badly to be against capital punishment in this country, but human excrement like this does a great job to keep that whiny blubbering nancy-boy in check. Texas, of course, is the national leader in frying people alive so we at least have that to look forward to.

I’m just sayin’, if I were going to murder someone, I wouldn’t do it in Texas.